Where's My Elvis? 

Part 2 - "Scream for me, Donnington!"

Part 1 - hopefully but unfortunately - was quite a depressing read.  The depressing thing, is that a blog about the biggest bands in rock really should not be a depressing read.  For somebody like me, it should be inspiring and fill the reader with the anticipation of seeing that band play that song and for you going absolutely crazy when they do.  Alas, we find ourselves in a situation where increasing age and decreasing quality are robbing us of the rock stars of the future and my question is: who will be their replacements?  Maiden and Metallica aren't going to be around forever and I think only Biffy Clyro, Linkin Park, Rammstein, Slipknot and Foo Fighters really passed my litmus test of who are the main bands to get excited about, and none of them are exactly new. Only Biffy really turn out anything fresh and exciting.

 I don't really want to get into the reasons for this perceived decline, but I'll try to briefly go through my opinions on the matter.  Nobody is selling quite enough to get them up there and I can put my finger on two root causes for the dearth of headline acts coming through right now: firstly, the industry has changed and continues to change.  Kids get singles rather than albums, they stream rather than buy (downloading hasn't helped...) and there seems to be a general shortening of the attention span required for a huge band to stay huge.  A band gets a hit these days and rockets up the bill.  If the next hit doesn't come, the interest wanes.  Secondly, the last big wave that came through heavy music, nu-metal, hasn't exactly left us with the same legacy as the 70s (Kiss, Aerosmith, Sabbath) or even the 80s (Maiden, Metallica, G'n'R).  Of the big Seattle bands of the 90s (and their coattail riders, Smashing Pumpkins, Stone temple Pilots, et al), only Pearl Jam really have the pulling power to bring the crowds. Of the nu-metal explosion, Korn and Deftones never really got to festival headliner status, Limp Bizkit are now a nostalgia band, leaving arguably Linkin Park and Slipknot.  

But what has followed?  The wave of emo bands of the early to mid 2000s gave you, ahem, Fall Out Boy, who I suppose are contenders on sales alone (ditto Nickelback...) and My Chemical Romance, who rightly split up and left us alone,  Finally, much as I love Jimmy Eat World, I can't see Jimmy Adkins commanding "scream for me Donnington!" to a drunk crowd on Saturday night of a festival.

Rather than getting bogged down in scenes and genres, I want to go through a few contenders and their relative merits, starting with the bands most likely to succeed.  Machine Head have been churning out quality for years.  A mid-career lull (rapping, silly haircuts, tracksuits, the 'Supercharger' album) seems firmly banished to the past and their last 4 albums have been quality indeed; they have their own sound, Robb Flynn can write an anthem and can sing - which is important as I doubt a screamer is ever going to replace Bruce Dickinson at the top.  However they've been doing this for a long while now (1994 and counting) and I doubt enough new fans are going to jump onto their particular wagon to propel them higher than they are now.  I would dearly love to be proved wrong.  

I gave up on Avenged Sevenfold some years ago but I might have been wrong to do so.  Striking a balance between the OTT anthems of Iron Maiden and the gutter snarl of G'n'R, they have talent in abundance but I think many rock fans find it hard to take a band wearing eyeliner seriously and M. Shadows' nasal whine can grate.  They are prone to the odd embarrassing ballad and I think need to release a classic before many fans take notice.  Ditto Bullet For My Valentine: all the potential in the world but at times unfocused samey.  A classic album is needed.  And so to Trivium; a band who frustrate me so much I've began a sentence with a conjunction.  This band is good enough to be producing modern thrash metal classics, and had the attention of the metal world at one point, but three fussy albums in a row have left me scratching my head.  They really dearly need a better lyricist, too.  Lamb Of God would be my pick here.  Although they're getting on and Randy Blythe's recent legal wrangles have cost them momentum.  Maybe a bit too heavy to headline, but a talented band with attitude and songs.

Nine Inch Nails, Korn, Soundgarden and  Alice In Chains have the advantage of previous success but have never really made the jump.  Having seen Korn and NIN live recently, I can testify that these bands not only have better back catalogues than people remember, but put on impressive live shows.  They are rock stars with talent and attitude.  Queens Of The Stone Age are nearly there but it seems they always will be.  Their shows are frustrating: for every killer single, you have to sit through at least 2 ponderous album tracks, which gives you time to visit the bar. Glastonbury and Reading perennially await...

Moving in a different direction, it would be churlish to ignore 30 Seconds To Mars because of nothing more than their inherent blandness.  People love them and I don't really know them well enough to dismiss them entirely.  Bring Me The Horizon are making waves right now and rightly so.  Previously, an unintentionally hilarious mess, but they have learned to sing and slowed down a bit.  Sempiternal is a great record and they have a growing fan base.  Keep it up, lads!

A Day To Remember and All Time Low annoy the piss out of me so I'll move right along until their fans outgrow how juvenile they are...

I'm going to ramp up the self indulgence a notch here and go through the bands I would like to see, however unlikely it may be:

Mastodon - great band who need to rediscover their live touch.  If they can strike a balance between early hardcore, mid-period prog and recent anthemic rock, they could be heroes.  They also need one of their singers to step up and be a commanding frontman.

Killswitch Engage - a talented band who needed a kick and got one.  A couple of ropey albums in a row dented their momentum while Adam D's bizarre stage presence and singer Howard Jones' lack thereof made them a tight but polite live act.  Jesse Leech's return on vocals and a much improved return album should have kicked them on but give them time.

Enter Shikari - a band  hated and then grew to admire and enjoy. I thought the dance-rock thing was a bit of a cliche and being a Pitchshifter fan, nothing really new.  But they have some great songs, put on a great show and seem to be growing in popularity.  And band that can make you aware of climate change while you are moshing deserve respect.

Ok, time for some complete outsiders, who are nowhere near the level required... but one can hope.

Black Spiders - The most fun band on this list after Iron Maiden, these guys know exactly where they came from but do so much more than a pastiche of their heroes.  Bonkers 3-guitar line up? Yes. Soaring lead vocals? You bet. Foot-on-the-monitor anthems? Absolutely.  I would dearly love to see these guys own the Download festival.

Clutch - Several albums under their belt, a charismatic and talented singer and all the riffs under the sun, nobody does it like Clutch.  In terms of working for it and deserving it, this should be the new go-to band to top the bill.  Alas, they aren't exactly rock stars and don't exactly sell arenas right now.

Lower Than Atlantis - The longest of my long shots, they have a long way to go before they reach the top but they have all the tools they need.  A great songwriter, the knack for a hook and tunes that ear-worm you for days.  These guys should be the UK's own Foo Fighters, only singer Mike Duce's lyrics aren't as frustratingly vague as Dave Grohl's.  Come on, England - make this happen!

And finally...

Ginger/The Wildhearts - Rock star attitude, riffs galore and all the songs! Ginger is simply the best songwriter I've encountered since I started paying attention and if 'I Wanna Go Where The People Go' never closes a festival then the world will be a sad place indeed.

Ok, so I've gone on a bit, but I care about this stuff.  Somebody needs to grab rock and roll by the scruff of the neck and/or balls and drag it into this century.  It;s only a matter of time until James Hetfield's wrists give up on him and I'd hate to think that nobody was waiting in the wings to rite the next 'Enter Sandman'.  Say your prayers, little ones - we need somebody.